Baby on the way.....

After almost exactly a year, we are finally pregnant!  It feels like it has been such a long process, but when I think about what some other couples have to go through, I feel very blessed.  I will be 10 weeks along tomorrow and will have my first OB appointment on Tuesday.  We had our first sonogram at the 8 week mark.  It finally made things real when we could see and hear that pulsing little heartbeat.  The sonographer told us that everything looked just as it should with our tiny little gray blob.

Our Little Peanut's First Photo Session

For a long while I had suspected that I had PCOS, or polycistic ovarian syndrome.  Basically it means that I don't ovulate regularly.  I had read a lot about it and had self-diagnosed it long ago.  So I was expecting to have some difficulty getting pregnant.  About a year ago, I told my doctor that we were ready to start trying and that I knew I probably had PCOS.  They took a bunch of blood, ran a bunch of tests, but never could confirm for sure that I had it.  She started me on a drug called metformin.  Women with PCOS are generally insulin resistant, which causes a chemical imbalance that prevents normal cycles.  I took this for about 4 months but did not have any success.  Our next step was to start clomid.  Clomid is a drug that tells your body to ovulate.  When you start clomid, life becomes a very scheduled thing.  The process works like this:

1 - Take clomid on days 5 through 9 of your cycle
2 - On day 12 begin "trying" to get pregnant every other day
3 - On day 22 go to the doctor for bloodwork to see if you ovulated
4 - Sweat it out until you find out if you had a successful ovulation
5 - If it was successful, do a pregnancy test on day 35; if unsuccessful, go back to the doctor between day 1 and 5 of your cycle to start the process all over again

We did this process 6 times, starting with a very low dose of clomid.  I tried to do everything perfectly, from taking the medication at the exact same time each day, to timing our attempts without missing a day.  As with so many other things in my life, I learned that the more I tried to control things, the less control I had.  Each unsuccessful attempt, the dosage was increased.  On the 6th try, the doctor had me take the clomid on day 3 through 7 instead of 5 through 9.  To make matters a little more interesting, Tim and I were both sick during this cycle.  We weren't able to keep to our schedule at all.  I figured this 6th round was a lost cause for sure.  God had other plans though!  I think it was the combination of the higher dosage, the timing change of the medication and my release of the reigns of control that finally did the trick!

Isn't it something how thoroughly depressed you can be when you are right in the middle of going through something difficult, but the moment things turn around you forget so easily how down you were before.  I try to keep that in mind whenever I have challenges in my life - that even though things seem so bad, I will most likely look back on this and see the blessings shine through more than the pain.

So here we are awaiting the arrival of a tiny person who will change our lives forever.  My heart grew a little bigger with the birth of each nephew and niece - I can only imagine how much bigger it will grow with the birth of my own child.

God Bless!

Eureka! Inspiration hits!

Hello Blogosphere!

I've had this blog set up for quite a while now, but until now, I just haven't been inspired to start it.  There are so many blogs out there.  I really want mine to somehow make a difference - even if it's just to one person.  So I've decided to only write when I feel God nudging me to say something.

Tonight I felt that nudge.  I would even go so far as to say it was a PUSH.  I attended an Emmaus closing this evening.  It's been quite a while since I was involved in the Emmaus community.  I attended Chrysalis, which is Emmaus for teens and those in their early 20s, when I was 15.  Holy cow that was 16 years ago!  It was a phenomenal experience, and this experience was even the connection that led me to marry my husband.  Tim has also been involved in the Emmaus community and in Kairos (a prison ministry)- serving on many teams, as Lay Director, and now as a Clergy team member.

My nudge tonight came from a very unexpected place.  At the closing, there were several South Koreans.  Tim had explained to me beforehand that they were shadowing the Lay Director and Board Rep on this particular walk in order to learn more and take their experiences back to South Korea.  Even before they spoke you could just see the joy pouring out of these wonderful people.  At one point in the closing, several of them got up to speak at the podium.   They expressed their sincere gratitude for the love and hospitality shown to them by the people of this Emmaus community.  They wanted us to know that the Emmaus community is very much alive in South Korea.  They even extended an invitation to all of us to come to South Korea where our stay in the country would be free and they would take us on a tour!  How generous is that?!  And what a wonderful opportunity to see how God is working outside of our little bubble.  So many of us, myself included, have such a small world view.  I am not well travelled - it is hard for me to imagine life in other countries.  You hear so many stories about "the ugly American" because we live in our palace on the hill and don't often respect, or take the time to understand other people's way of life.

I was so proud tonight to have witnessed an occasion where we, as American's, were given the opportunity to broaden our world view and show love and hospitality to people from another country, and we came through with flying colors!  People are people - no matter what race or nationality - we are linked to these people through our love of Christ.  How wonderful that we can join hands and spread the Good News.

De Colores!